This study was a seven month ordeal. With this video, my capstone is complete, and I now can state that I officially have my master's degree! Can you believe it? This is it, this is the finish line! Time for a reflection back on my journey.
There are two significant impacts this program has had on me, and the first is confidence. I have gained so much confidence in myself and who I am. Everyone has insecurities, anxieties, and quirks about them. Before I began this program, I suffered from impostor syndrome something fierce! I often found myself questioning my ability and credibility.
This is no longer the case. I am not afraid to take that next step, and to walk through doors when opportunities present themselves. Sure, I may feel nervous or get butterflies like everyone else, but I am confident in who I am, and what my values are. What is important, and what keeps me grounded, is remaining authentic to who I am as a person.
I’m not afraid to fail, and if I try something and it doesn’t work out, then so be it, I tried! After all, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So I will try and succeed, or try and fail, and then grow from that failure. I haven’t just gained confidence in myself and my abilities, but also my lack of ability. I used to feel that it was important to have all the answers, or at least appear as such.
That mindset caused so much unnecessary anxiety, and this is no longer the case with me. I have no qualms or issues revealing skills, abilities, or knowledge that I lack. It’s important to be honest and truthful, as to not misrepresent yourself. This notion was lost on me, as I felt not having all the answers was a negative judgement of my character professionally.
The second impact that has greatly affected me in this program is the journey inward. I have discovered so much about myself since I began this class. As an introvert, I’ve always been in tune with myself, but the things I have learned in this program about myself will pay in dividends for the rest of my life. Learning about the different types of leaders, discovering my leadership traits, and understanding my core leadership strengths, have all been so empowering.
I feel so much more “awake” in many regards, like my eyes are far more open now. You don’t know what you don’t know, so we as people just blindly go about our business daily unaware in many regards. But I learned so much about what makes me tick, how I tick, and why, that I see patterns everywhere. I see different leadership types in people, I see core leadership traits in others, I can tell when a person has an unmet core need, and because of what I learned, I know how to better approach people with different traits then myself. The MSOL program has been such an enlightening and powerful journey.
Where do I go next? I am still navigating those waters, but I have a lot I want to explore here at Goodwin. I have an unofficial 3-5 year plan in my head. I plan to focus on my career, my finances, and my personal life for the next 3-5 years. I want to settle down, foster/adopt, and get a house. I also want to further continue my education. I am very interested in obtaining a doctoral degree at some point from Goodwin University. Staff are allowed free education at Goodwin, and I feel that it is important to never close a door on an opportunity, and the type A goal setter in me sees one more finish line I still need to cross, and that is quite the opportunity afforded to me by Goodwin. Goodwin has doctoral degrees in the pipeline, and one of them calls to me in the form of an EdD.
Also, I am seriously interested in teaching. I am good at, and thoroughly enjoy, instructing people or training them. I have a natural strength that allows me to break down complex processes and explain them into easy-to-understand chunks of information. I would love the opportunity to explore the possibility of teaching as an adjunct right here at Goodwin. I did reach out to a few program directors to explore becoming an adjunct in some undergrad 100 level courses. More to come on that in July!
This brings me to my final bullet point on my 3-5 year plan: I need to get my physical and mental health back in order. The MSOL program has bar none been the most transformational journey I have ever embarked on. I would not change a minute of what I learned and gained from the MSOL program. But not everything has been rose-tinted and perfect. The reality is, the demands and stress placed on me from work, school, family, friends, and just life, took a serious toll on my mental energy.
I had some struggles with depression during the later half of this program, and I regained much (but not all!) of the 125 pounds I lost before I started the MSOL program as I struggled to balance all my goals, needs, and energy. Now that I am done, it is time to kick my weight loss efforts back into overdrive, and lose every pound I gained back, and then keep losing until I reach my goal. I'm planning the framework for my happily-ever-after in these next five years, and as such, getting my weight back under control is important to that aim. I want to lose weight and live a happier, healthier life again with the energy to tackle my passions as fiercely as I did before the MSOL program; this time taking what I learned from the MSOL program, and applying it to my life goal of simply living in, and seizing the moment.
Carpe Diem!